its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
