Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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