Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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