I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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