bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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