is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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