Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
