I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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