You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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