so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I touched a dick in church today
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
