She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
