Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
false alarm, still single
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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