Got a toothbrush?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
