just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
