sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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