Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
