I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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