I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Are my feet made of real feet?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
