so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
