Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Farmville is her only friend.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
