3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
