like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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