I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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