google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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