smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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