In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
