we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
