I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
