I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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