it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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