we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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