its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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