Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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