OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
