So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
