So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize