I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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