did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize