He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
