i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
