I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
