the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What happened to fro yo and sex?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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