they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
