My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize