I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
