You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
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He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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