Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
don't judge my taste in strippers
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
