so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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