she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We have so much sex to catch up on
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Randomize
