It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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