i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize