great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
