i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
