yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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