I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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