At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
