Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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